I was listening to an interesting story on NPR this morning about the rising popularity of "non-religious" songs being chosen for funerals. This got me thinking about how badly I wanted Kelly Clarkson's entire debut album to be my life's soundtrack. No but seriously, I actually do want my life to be a celebration of Billy Joel's musical career, like a real life version of "Moving Out". Oh Billy...Anyway, according to a study done recently, THE most popular non-religious song chosen to be played at a funeral is Sinatra's "My Way". Here are the lyrics:
My Way
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.
Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.
Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!
To me this is kind of depressing. I can see how the whole "I do what's best for me" thing can seem like freedom for a while, but unfortunately it turns out to be a delusion. In fact, the only thing that actually brings freedom is the exact opposite - Love. We are amazing creatures with the ability to literally orient our entire lives around the very things that make us most miserable, and then at the end of it all sing glorious songs of praise about the water in which we're drowning. This brings to mind a line from C. S. Lewis' novel, The Great Divorce: "There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.'"
I spend my whole life saying, "I'm doing it my way." Lord, by your grace, I at least hope my dying words are something like, "Okay, do it Your way."
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6 comments:
Such a good post, Ross. I kept waiting for the turn in the song as I was reading the lyrics, for the acknowledgment of the tragic flaw and tragic fall, but I couldn't believe it never came. Does anyone really die with no huge regrets in their lives? And don't those regrets always go, "I regret that I DID do it my way"? I don't want to assume everyone is like me, but maintaining happiness through doing it "my way" seems unbelievable. What a paradox that what is best for us is not to do what we think is best for us. We have to realize we're still children--and toddlers at best. Think of what would happen to toddlers if they refused to let their parent make decisions against their wills. That seems to be where we are, hopeless without saying "Thy will be done." It's so hard when we think we're adults, though.
Ross' "My Way" blog struck a note with me. I have read quotes from Sinatra's family that even he disliked singing the song because he found it so self-indulgent. In 1 John 2:16, we find applicable guidance:
"For everything in the world -- the cravings of a sinful man, the lust of his eyes, and the boasting of what he has and does -- comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
God loves us and wants what is best for us. He knows what is best for us. Clearly, the road to happiness is love and the puruit of His will -- not our own. 1 John 5:16 "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him."
More on ego, self-indulgence and self-importance:
2 Timothy 2:3
"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
"Godlessness in the Last Days:
"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them."
I must always remind myself and remember: 1 John 16: "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him."
David Jordan
Man oh man--some of those passages are really convicting to me, David. How much passion I give to foolish and stupid arguments, and I'm not kind to everyone and I am so often resentful. And I'm not just saying that. I fail to live in love--Love come down and give me Your heart!
Thomas, like you, I too struggle often to live in love. I feel that part of being faithful is living in love.
"We love because He first loved us. If anyone says , 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whover loves God must also love his brother."(1 John 5:6)
"Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:8)
Lord, please give me wisdom. Please help me to keep my heart filled with love, to spread love and show love -- especially to those who love me, but even to those who don't. Give me the wisdom, the grace, the heart and the ability to do Your Will. I know that I am worthless without you. I am humbled by your love for me. Please help me to remember this humility in the way I live my life and in the way I deal with others. I want to honor you in all of my actions, but many times I don't. Please forgive me for these sins against you. I will go forth and try to sin no more. And I will go forth and forgive those who have sinned against me, and I will live in love, as is your expressed wish. (David Jordan)
(Blessings to you Thomas.)
Hey Ross just leaving you the youtube channel of Sean, or better known as "VenomFangX" like I told you about. And for everyone there that doesn't know about him, he's a great inspiration and involved Christian that has sought and still seeks answers to many questions that those with "faith" are afraid to ask. If that sounds bad, you'll understand when you see any of his videos, my favorite ones are his scientific explanations for God, they really are good.
Enjoy.
www.youtube.com/venomfangx
Oh, and also I told you there was another rather "negative" youtube user I have seen, which finds himself "amazing!" Quite the contrary I think..
Funny what a godless mind will qualify himself as.
http://www.youtube.com/theamazingatheist
Don't laugh too hard
David and Thomas,
WELL SAID. I love that this depressing image of self-justification drives us to conviction rather than judgment - to "look at the plank in our own eye" and then to get on our knees and say, "Lord have mercy on me, a sinner!" And then to pray that He would change our hearts. Amen Amen Amen. Here's a great prayer from the Book of Common Prayer on that:
Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly
wills and affections of sinners: Grant your people grace to
love what you command and desire what you promise; that,
among the swift and varied changes of the world, our hearts
may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found;
through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with
you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Thanks for the great responses.
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